Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Understanding relationships - a perspective
The most important thing in a relationship is neither physical attraction; nor intellect (witty, humour, emotional, thoughtful, worldly-wise etc.); nor nature and behaviour; nor commitment; nor spirituality – it is trust. Not just how much you trust the other person, but more importantly, how much does the other person trust you.
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3 comments:
True.
Though you can only influence other person's thoughts (not nature) to a certain extent through interaction. So the main thing is to trust the other person in a relationship, its for the other person to do the same on their part. Wanting the other person to share your views (trustfulness in this case) is again an 'expectation', something that *should-not* be in the equation. Indeed, as you correctly pointed out, it is a highly desirable trait for a successful relationship.
Saket, You are quite correct, and it is a very mature observation - trust is of fundamental importance in a relationship. A relationship without trust is ultimately doomed.
But, your nature and behaviour is really the way you engender trust in someone else. The only way someone can begin to really trust someone else is through their actions and reactions to situations. It is one thing for someone to say "trust me", but you can only really trust them after seeing some evidence to justify that trust, and that will be through their actions and behaviours, IMHO. It's something that needs to be nurtured over time, and acts as the bedrock for a long term relationship.
I agree. But trust alone would not take you too far. As Piyush said, you would expect it from both sides and expections in relationships dont do much good. Here I would like to add that 'accepting' the other person as is, is equally important as trusting. If you take the person for who he/she is whole-heartedly...in their habits, personality, faith...anything, then that would make a successful relationship. That would lower ego problems, expectations and differences between the 2 people involved.
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